Baby Days

Isaac's first birthday was this past week. The time has gone so quickly, and now the Lost Year is officially over. It's a more bittersweet event than I had anticipated. He is our last baby, and I am feeling the loss. I will miss holding such a tiny life, the new baby smell, the intense closeness that is unique to an infant. As Jon poignantly noted, children are forever moving away: they leave the womb, the breast, our steadying hands at their first step, our desires at their first "no!", our home as they run out to play, our yard when they ride a bike, our protection when they're off to school. Now I understand why many grandmothers are such prayer warriors - for years prayer is probably all that stood between them and a emotional meltdown.

Isaac's birthday itself was mellow, and I couldn't help but compare it to the day he was born. That day was warm and sunny (I have some lovely pictures featuring my sunburned arms) and we spent the morning at the zoo. Nothing out of the ordinary until about an hour after we got home. At that point my water broke, so once again I missed out laboring at home. No matter - a few hours later Isaac was born and all was well.

On this first birthday, we woke to snow and cold. However, Isaac's first taste of french toast took off the chill, and we headed to the library later on. That was a disaster. The Lost Year may be over, but the Onerous Ones have taken hold. He will not be contained or directed without making his displeasure widely known. Our little outing turned into a grab-and-dash as we took whatever books were close by and got out of there. It wasn't a total write-off, thanks to a nearby playground (sun had come out by then) and some wide open spaces. The swings are always a big hit with our kids, which is a little annoying because we have swings in our yard. What we don't have is all the other cool equipment they tend to ignore.

Anyway, after a marathon afternoon nap (birthday present for Mom?) we had some friends over for carrot cake and presents. (Cake BEFORE dinner - wow!) Isaac wore the same bemused expression the whole time, but seemed to like getting new cars and books. (Tons of baby dolls throughout the house and all he plays with are vehicles and balls. How's that for early gender differentiation?)

Anna was kind enough to blow out the candle before Isaac burned himself, and he tentatively grabbed at the edge of the frosting, unsure of what he was looking at. Things became clear once he had a slice, however.

And that was it! First birthdays are so nice, since the kid has zero expectation or understanding. The whole thing was a bigger deal for Anna, who made a few decorations, set the table, and helped decorate the cake. Gummy bears, anyone?

Looking ahead, I see some fun times. Once Isaac has lost his morning nap (surely by fall, if not sooner) we'll have a lot more freedom to do fun things. He should also be more verbal and I expect fewer meltdowns in public places. I will miss having a baby, but I look forward to knowing the boy.