Twenty-one and counting

I'm slightly strung out on Vicodin today, owing to three gum grafts that were implanted this morning. It's my second of four surgeries (gotta drag it out, thanks to insurance) and no more fun the second time around.
The upside is that I have child-free day to recover (big thanks to Jon's parents!) and hence a spare moment to sit down and process our lives for the last month or so. All the bits and pieces and cleaning and odds and ends that come with preparing for The Showing of a house were finally completed and our house has had 21 visits so far. And if all goes well, we'll be under contract later today. I ought to be rejoicing about that, but it really doesn't feel very good. We're losing so much money that I'm feeling mild to moderately depressed. Granted, it will be a relief to stop the constant cleaning and attention to detail that comes with showings. (True confession: my inner clean freak was thrilled to have an excuse to clean the bathrooms, etc. every day)
Overall, ambivalence best describes our current emotions, and isn't that the most logical response to such a move? If there were nothing positive about leaving, there would be no reason to go. And if it were all positive, it would suggest there was nothing valuable left behind. As it stands, the obvious benefits are that Jon will have a job he values (and values him) and that may lead to actual job security. The obvious downsides are emotional, financial, social, familial, and just about everything else. And yet peace reigns supreme for us. We are doing the right thing. Almost every indicator points to the folly of this adventure, but we both know it is the right path. I'm pretty sure that makes this a God thing.

Communicating our internal peace and faith to the children is another matter. Isaac has been acting out lately, possibly reflecting the recent stress and and busy-ness related to The Showings. I've tried to work in some fun things while we've been out of the house (swimming, parks, zoo), hoping this extra togetherness will help. For Anna's part, her sleeping issues have worsened. She knows we're moving, inasmuch as a five year old can process that information. I've tried to couch this as an adventure, but I don't think she's buying it. If we're not moving to Disneyland, then we really shouldn't be moving at all.

One of my biggest dilemmas was how to handle Isaac's third birthday. He hasn't had a real party thus far, and I wanted to make it a special day. Thankfully, Jon's mom took on the task and we had a lovely afternoon at their house. Lunch, cake, gifts, and cousins. Isaac adores his older cousins and what could be better than an afternoon with them? Gifts, maybe. I thought the poor little guy was going to explode before we got to his gifts, so we spread them out through the day. Grandma and Grandpa watched via Skype while Isaac opened their gifts in the morning, then another gift before lunch, one before the cake, and a couple towards the end. He got a lot of Star Wars paraphernalia and car related items, which is exactly what he wanted. I am planning to throw another party with few friends once the house is under contract. My boy will have his pinata!

More immediately, we're waiting on Jon's future employer to get us the actual official offer letter. Until then, we can't know definitively which moving company we'll be able to use. Which is kind of important, no? I suppose I could begin packing the stuff in the basement, but there are spiders down there. And the days are so nice right now and the basement is so dark. Not that I can take advantage of the sunshine today, what with an ice pack on my face and sharp pain in my jaw. Apparently I can't even vacuum for 24 hours (I specifically asked about that), which is sad mostly for Isaac. He is terrified of that loud machine so I wanted to complete the chore before he returned home. Well, I shall try to make the most of this forced down time. Maybe I'll start dusting. Or maybe read The Hunger Games, if I can just convince my inner clean freak to take another Vicodin.

Update: The offer fell through and I vacuumed. I postulate a causal relationship.